Hello there. You've landed on
Just-your-angeL dimension.

Current Mood: Stress, Tired and Depressed....

Name/Nickname: Kelvin @Kelv
@Kelx @ah_kel
@Kev @Dashu @kelkel
D.O.B:8/5/1988
aGe:20
Schooling at:NYP[diploma in information technology!!!!]

=my Loves!!!=
`GOd
`FamiLy
`fRendz
`polite pple
`IT0608[hedonists]
`IT0710[ETU-ers]
`Mcspicylovers

=my Hates!!!=
`Lyres
`cheaTers
`irritAting ppLe
`hypocritEs
`pple who kup
my calls
`pple with no manners
`pple who doesn't contributes
and wait for free lunch
`pple who criticise but they
themselves are WEAK and also USELESS!!!!!

=WISH-LIST=
`mOrE new cLoThEs
`Everlast jacket
`Fossil watch
`More top man jersey
`New lappie(Sony Vaio)
`Samsung K3
`A special someONE
`New fitting jeans
`Leather Bag
`New Bed
`New Sony Ericsson Phone: C902
`A Special Ring
`New Shoes
`Havaianas slipper
`NUM party tank
`berms from messy's short series
`crocs hp holder[croc o dial]
`billabong bag

=Sec Skool=
`Daniel
`Weikiat
`Kenneth
`Racheal
`Junwei
=Church=
`Darren
`Pearline
`Kevin
`Stephanie
`Joel
`Weeching
`Kiansiong
`Emily
=IT0608=
`Yanqi
`Clement
`Yati
`Esther
*RAYMOND*
`Xinxian
`IT0608
`Yiming
`Zigui
=Comex Fair=
`Edwin
`Laimun
=IT0710=
`Charlene
`James
`Eileen
`Danielle
=OGL=
`Jewelry
`Jonathan
=FYPJ friends=
*JUSTIN*
`Xueli
`Maymay
`Gladys
`3 Superstars
=Family=
`Veron
`Francis
`Cynthia
=lovelove=
`MCSPICYLOVERS
=Celebrities i like=
`Felicia Chin
`Nat Ho
`Ben
`Diya
`Daren

Designer: Rainbowpopcorn:D
Base codes: Rapt
Resources: x x
Hosts: x x

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August 2008
September 2008

yesterday was a say that i dunno can describe as good or bad... yesterday morning... when i played maple... i actually got an item which i actually want... so i was very happi but in the afternoon... i failed my basic theory test... think mebbe it's becos my luk was used up in the morning so in the end i failed... wahaha... bullshit onli... next time i will study harder and make sure i pass..... den i went to bishan and applied for a job... den i meet up with clement and we were quite bored after eating so was strolling thru J8 and decided to walk to toa payoh... i thot i was joking but i managed to walk there... woohoo!!!! den we went there and stroll arnd and tok for a while and it was already 8pm... den i told him we had to leave... so we started walking back from toa payoh back to serangoon and hougang... omg... it's the first time in my life i ever walked so far... we walked and toked at the same timeand keep walking all the way until woodleigh park tat i remember that it's the cemetry place... luckily we chose to walk the other way tat will go to serangoon and will miss the cemetry... den we walk all the way to serangoon mrt and den i walked all the way home from there back to home... i reached home arnd 9.30 plus ba... realli was an "adventure"... lol... it's realli a walk that i really never expect myself to do but i managed to do it... i'm so proud of myself... hee... =)

den yesterday while we were at the bishan acarde... we saw samantha... lol... den clement wanted to msg her and ask her why she playing at the arcarde... i sort of ruin the thing but going to change for token and got seen by her... haix... haha... was a funny situation... lol...

=nivlek=

i'm freakin pissed and freaking angry with my damn bloody sister who is so irresponsible and freaking no manners... will it kill you to just ask before you eat something that belongs to others?? will you die becos you asked?? den why God created a mouth for you?? it's for you to speak and ask you dumb freaking idiot!!!!! i dun understand how irresponsible and ill-mannered you are... dun understand why you can be freaking idiotic!!!! dunno why we're poles apart... why cant you learn to be a little more responsible and more educated after all that has happened?? i dunno why you are getting worse... just hope to get away from all these ******** pple!!!!!



damn pissed now and i still gotta study... shit man!!! haven study anything for my basic theory test later... hope i will be able to do well... realli hope that i will be able to do so... hee.... wish me luk... gtg.... =)

yesterday was ken's bdae... i actually went to orchard alone in the afternoon to get his bdae present... i actually went to my most hated shop if you noe me.... i went to get him the slippers... i also went to topshop to get my jacket... i wanna thank my bro(eric) for helping me... thanks brother... den also i bought a piece of cake for ken... den yesterday night... at arnd 1.30am... i met him under his block.. i actually called him before that and tok as if i had a problem and wanted to tok to him... he didn't wanna come down but in the end he came down... he came down expecting to see me cry but i was there with the cake in my hand... lol... den i sang him a simple birthday song and sat thr with him while he ate the cake... and gave him the present and it look good on him... so happi.... den we sat thr and tok for a while... it's been a long time since we did tat... haha... it's the most memorable bdae "celebration" i ever gave someone... becos he's my best buddy and my best brother who understands me... thanks ken for everything.... den he accompany me to S11 to get some food for me and my sis.... haha... den we went home... it was a short 1 hr plus thingy but it was realli something that will strangthen and boost the relationship between both of us... haha... =)

=nivlek=

a picture of the few of us tat went...









as i promised that i will update with the pictures....



as for today... i went to get 2 items... the picture are as follows...



the jacket tat i finally went to get it...
















the bdae pressie tat i got from my budd... kenn....

today was freaking boring.... woke up early and wished my bro all the best for the paper today... hope he do well and get good grades... go for it bro... you will do it well... den on the com for a while and was quite bored... so went to take a bath and ate a bit and went nappie... so woke up in the afternoon and was quite bored again... so ate a bit again and den watched tv... den watched all the way till 6 plus den i went to nap nap again... was very tired today and i dunno why... mebbe becos life is very harsh on me ba... tat's why i'm so tired.... den i woke up at 7.45 and den got ready to watch singapore idol results... so watch tv until arnd 9 plus... den haven eat yet... so hungry sia.... and so tired and exhausted by everything arnd me....

den went online after the results as hady was crowned the singapore idol and i expected it... quite lame as i wanted jonathan to win... lol... but nvm... it's fated.... den i went online and went maple a while to check some items and things... den was quite sian so didn't maple today....

i'm freaking tired and sad today... dunno why.... shld have actually got that thing that i wanted... haix... mebbe if i got it i wont be sad now... although it's not the reason why i feeel sad.. just tired of things arnd me.... haix....


okaes... wanna wish darling here all da best for the 1106 paper tmr.... you can do well de.... all da best and jia you.....


another 45 mins... it's my best brother KEN"S BDAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday ken.... may you continue to do well in everything you do and also brothers 4ever!!!!!! happy 18th birthday again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=nivlek=

this few days have been great... on friday... i went to sentosa with clement, samantha, isaac, yanqi and yan qi's friend... was a great time becos i ask clement they all to accompany me to go early... den we went thr arnd 10 plus... so while we wait for yan qi and her frend... i went to suntan first... think i didn't put enough lotion on my back as it's burnt now... lol... den i was quite surprise that the sun was so bright and good... so i applied the lotion and lie down thr... while the other 3 chatted a while... den after that we sat in the shade and wait for yan qi to come and chatted abt maple... wahaha... MAPLE!!!!!...

den yan qi came and we went to the washroom to wash our hands and den ate our lunch[burger king] bought by yan qi... thanks... den we after eating decided to laze in the shade for a while... den after that we went to suntan and also soak in the sea... we just sat thr and soak in the water and chatted.. it was a form of suntaning also... den it was so jialat... everyone was starting to show burnts except isaac who had it on his face... haha... clement, samantha, yanqi and yan qi's frend were all very red... for me, onli my back was red as it was burnt... wahaha... den we went to take a bath... the funny thing is no one realise that we've lost the ball... opps... until we were on our way to harbourfront... lol.... den we went to bishan... we went for dinner thr and den we went to catch a movie w/o isaac... den we watched the haunted apartments.. it was so "scary" tat i almost fell asleep... den yan qi was so scared that she keep covering her face and hiding beside me... lol... it was so funny sia... den after tat we all went home...

saturday was spent at home and at night going to apply job at bluemax[compass point] and music junction[heartland mall]..... hope someone call me asap... haha... den saw darren and jian siong at the coffeeshop....

sunday.. .went out with dar and siong.... den saw pastor peter and aunty margaret at hougang mall.. haha... den was home to watch singapore idol... it was a very interesting match and both did well... i still supports jonathan leong.... wahaha...

*will update photos abt sentosa soon!!!

=nivlek=

haha... these few days have been quite a very fufilling one and that i'm realli glad to noe you guys... you guys have been chatting with me daily and i noe i am sometimes very noisy so pls "duo duo bao rong".... heez... den also i got my result 2 days ago... i actually pass all my modules and my lousies grade was a D+... yippie... so happi... although i didn;t realli do well this time but i will work hard the next time round... i noe my results are not tat fantastic but i promise that i will do my very best the next time... i wont be fooling arnd le... must get back to my studies and do my very best... i wanna show those who look down on me tat i can do well and get very good grades...

although i noe i'm not the type that is loved by everyone but if i ever offended you... i'm sorry... just wanna say it to everyone who i intentionally or unintentionally offended you... just hope you will forgive me... erm... just hope you guys will find me a real support and someone who you can trust... hope you guys wont find mne a bother especially those few you all shld noe yourself... =)

okaes... lastly, 'm gonna head for sentosa now... pls pray for me that it wont rain... haha.... will update tmr to put some pics.... enjoy your day everyone...

=nivlek=

haha... today woke up and realise so many pple called me while i'm asleep... haix... den was online and now i think i need a change in life... which is the live with a slogan for myself which is "silence in golden"... pple are saying that i'm too noisy and too talkative... and too chatty... okaes... think i will be a quiet and cool person now ba... in order to be closer to that person/ people i think this is necessary... mebbe i talk too much ba... mebbe it's time to keep my mouth shut for some time and mebbe lyke pastor always says " put a santuary at the foot of my mouth"... think i will start doing it from now.... think it will help tat person/ people to "lyke" me more and mebbe wont detest me ba... i just hope so... hope i will be able to change and be more quieter....

sorry for the sudden change of song becos i suddenly decided to change it last night... it's realli a song that touches my heart and realli is meaningful... it is realli speaking from my heart and also realli toking abt wad i'm feeling... tat i realli feel tears welling up but have to perservere to keep them inside... haix... why have tears welling up... i also dunno... dun wish to say also... well, things are better not said or else it may destroy some relationship... i dun wanna soil any of my relationship with anyone so i choose to be hurt myself w/o saying... so pls understand and i noe many of you will scold me foolish but i would rather be hurt den to hurt others... if you noe me well... haix... okaes... think i dun wanna say anymore... Good Day to Everyone.... =)

=nivlek=

haha... dunno whether this few days are a good day or bad day for me... i was sick on sunday with fever and i woke up in bed with my cousin sitting on my bed.. my niece was outside and i didn't go out cos i was a little not feeling well... den i slept till arnd 2 den woke up... den i played com till evening den went to eat... den after that was not realli feeling well so went sleep early tat night...

monday was also a bit feverish so stayed home and played maple... den was quite bored cos nothing to do... den was always on the com.. haha... with my same pple chatting and toking rots... den was home all night... watched twister with my family... it was a very interesting show and it realli showed me a lot... den played maple and my guild members are so stubborn that they dun wanna listen to me and try be heros... sian... den was quite frustrated... den was toking with my few buddies... den had to "run" between msn and maple... den i went to sleep after tat cos tired...

today actually was supposedly to be a day to exercise but xiao mei was not feeling well so we canceled it... den me, da ge and wei qi met for lunch at ajisen(dunno how to spell).... den go kbox sing... den ken caled me and ask me out for dinner... so in the end... me, ken, da ge and wei qi went walk walk b4 going to fareast to eat chicken rice for dinner... den we went walk taka and wisma b4 going home... i lyke a jacket from topshop...*hint hint... it's quite nice and it's both formal and informal... so great.... so hope i can get it... *hintz*

today is also result release day.. it's so exciting and killing... we were all waiting for the moment for the results to be release... and we all clicked on the wrong link so all thot result not out yet.. but we realise it and we went to click the right one... thank God... until now... all the pple i noe of has passed okaes... at least we pass... so i realli thank God... =) i got onli 1 D+, many C+, 1 B and a few B+... so i'm quite happi but my gpa not tat good... but i will work hard de.. hee....

today was not realli feeling well also... in the morning had diahorrea a few times.. and now still having it... i noe this sux... but i go toilet a lot of times le... haix.. this feeling i hate it to the core.. i hate diahorrea... den come home same thing happen... now my stomach is becoming a mixer and got noise and pain... shucks... it's lyke a war... sian... think i gotta do something abt it... if tmr still not well.. gotta go see doc le...haha.... okaes... gtg le... will update more... think i cant sleep cos i'm too happi... hee... =)


=nivlek=
_entering sleep land with joy_

haix... i'm feeling sad at this point again... why must i always feel sadness before i go to sleep... just now in maple my party members dont listen to me has caused me to feel so frustrated.... den in a msn conversation get scolded... haix... why everytime it happen to me??? am i so detestable by you guys??? if i am den i will just leaveand stay away... i wont be a bother or burden to you all... i will go for the better and nv to disturb you guys.. but do you have to always scold me or criticise me... why must you always do this type of things to me??? i treated you so close to me and you do all this to me... den wad's brothers for??? if it's for you to scold and criticise den i would prefer not to be brothers with you at the start.... i'm so freakin sad now la... i dunno just now said tat out of a playing spirit or wad but it reali hurts me a lot.... haix.. why must you do this to me?????


SCARED!!!! result will be out on wednesday... pls pray for me those who are looking at my blog... hope i can do well and pass all my modules... especially 1106 and 1101.... haix....


=nivlek=
_entering land of loneliness with tears..._

haha... today's post is just a normal post... i have realli known a few great frends lyke da ge, xiao mei and wei qi... they have become my everyday toking kakis... haha... mebbe i was a little too noisy ba... they always let me blabber my bullshit... haix... sorry if i was too nosiy kaes.. haha... i will be more quiet next time... den thanks to da ge for realli taking such good care of me and also listening to my problems... haha... mebbe i think you will think i'm a live radio... haha... hope you all will also share your problems with me if you all dun mind.... =)
ystd went to orchard with clement and ran into the singapore idol thingy... and saw jonathan leong and hady at cineleisure... haha... den went to walk and eat... we went fareast, wheelock place( eat ice-cream) and heeren... of course i saw num's boss at the ground floor becos of the singing thingy that num has... and i actually shun him becos i dun wanna see him... den i actually bump into one of the num guys... so unlucky... den just went shopping w/o walking past num... not ready to face them yet... den went to ps and took train to cityhall... walk citylink and went to marina... and also to suntec... the security there was lyke s***... so many police walking here and there la... haha... den had to travel a long way to just go inside suntec... den saw i think meng hon's mom at the bk... she was very nice and even gave me coupons... haha... den after walked with clement to bugis and i took train to aljunied while he went to outram to take nel line... haha...

den today... played maple with my guild members and den now... dad wants to buy a creative webcam for me... yippie... i love my daddy... he is always so good to me... hahax... okaes... tok more later... gtg reformat my com... byex....

=nivlek=
_signing off happily_

haix... why this happen??? why everytime must it be me?? i dun understand why everything tat goes wrong wil be blamed on me?? i just simply dunno why... just quarreled with one of my frend yesterday... i very childish argument becos of some very simplelilistic(if there's this word) things and we are quarreling lyke no body's business... i realli didn't wanna tok abt tat matter as i thot it as quite a lame thing to quarrel over but i dunno why in the end we quarreled... if wad you wan is my apology rite... fine... i will say sorry to you... but i think that i have done nothing wrong... so i wont admit.. but if you need the sorry... i can say that... i dunno why you're so uptight abt it... it's not as if i did something so wrong that made you feel so frustrated and agitated.... pls... i din't wanna quarrel but you forced me to... i realli didn't expect this to become lyke tat but i dunno why... mebbe we've all changed... so we dunno each other lyke last time... haix... wad i can say is that the friendship we had has gone and it is now a different one.... sorry to all those who are in this "story" but i didn't tell you...

_gOoDbYE oLd tImEs_
=nivlek= (rEgRets)

haix... feeling a little disappointed now.... am i realli such a person tat pple loathe or pple will categorize me as troublesome??? am i realli so bothersome tat is so irritating to you or you all?? haix..im realli sorry but i have no choice... this is the real me... i dun wish to show a different me tat a lot of you would'nt noe... just hope tat you all will understand my stand and give me yr understanding... tat's al i need...

=nivlek=(sOrRoW)

i dunno why recently either i quarrel with pple or i will be said by pple... why is this happening to me?? i just dun understand... either i bicker or pple will use words to characterize me... haix... am i realli so unlikeable to you tat you need to say that of me?? i dun think i will do tat... it may not mean a lot to you.. but it does to me... haix... sorry if i offended you all kaes... i dunno wad's wrong.. just hope someone was there for me...

=nivlek= (sAdNeSs)

oppsie... now den i remember that i forgot to blog abt my comex experience.. haha... it was a great experience... i get to noe many pple... these pple lyke didi, esther, lao po, wei li, jun yong, royston, ho ki tat i noe... and also da ge, xiao mei, wei qi, jie ying, guo xiang, the gay that keep 'sexually harrasing me'-allan, ah yong jie, terence, ang, john and many of them.... this year end of august and early september i worked with rich concept which is my friend's parent's company.... we actually was quite unexpected becos me, esther and didi were all seperated... den on the first day... i accompany didi to the expo hall for the set-up b4 going back to the company for the training... i thot it was for many pple and it turn out to be me and da ge onli... super demoralizing... den aunty vivian drove me and da ge to the imation centre... den we had training for 2 hours den we went to set-up... lame... we tag and carry things until 10pm before we can go home... it suxs... den the next day we also carry and tagged things... it sux to the core cos it was so boring... den on the third day.. the fair started... was quite boring cos not much pple... den i stand until my legs were so tired... den the forth day was lame also cos quite little pple... but compared to thursday was more le... den also leg tired... den on saturday was very boring... cos after work i still need to rush to num for meeting... den i was super bothered by this aunty tat keep hindering me and da ge in selling our products... cos she keep getting in our way... den she keep scaring my customers away... haha... den i keep wishing she will go away... she came for the whole fair sia... crazy auntie... den went for the meeting until 2 plus... haix... den next day also worked till 1am cos packing and things lyke tat... den after tat i called cab for didi, wei li and wan jun... and also a cab for me, esther and xiao mei... den i send esther home first... den i send xiao mei to her house downstairs b4 i continued to go home... my experience is realli very fufilling... it realli helped me to train my endurance and also helped me get to noe some very good frendz... i realli enjoyed the time there becos da ge and me keep playing arnd and disturb cos there wasn't much customer and also tok to xiao mei and lao po... hahax... i realli miss the time we all were getting together... haha... it was fun... hee... hope to come out all together again... hahax... =)

hiz... i'm back again... these few days have realli left me high and stranded... haha... why i say so leh.. i have to cope with wad happen to me within the one week tat passed... and also now i am realli tired and nothing but tired... i actually slept at 5 last night... cos i was thinking thru somethings... and also i couldn't sleep... so was lying there and thinking my things thru lorx... i was thinking thru wad happen with those things that happen and wad could have been done but it's all over le... i will no longer linger there... hee... i will move on with my life... haha... last saturday went with wei qi, da ge(edwin) and xiao mei(lai mun) to return the tee-shirt to rich concept and also went to watch a movie... the movie devil wear prada is very nice... so funny sia... i got some picture... we took neoprints.. show you wad my new hair look lyke... tat's why i say i look lyke ah beng... haha.... tat's all i gotta say.. hee...

okaes... i'm finally ready to let all these go with a relax heart.... firstly i wanna say sorry to someone becos it's time for me to move on with my life le... as of end aug or rather early sept.... i have ended it with her... finally a full finale... it has been a heart wrenching one... although it didn't start at all but i noe it had as for me... but i have to let it go due to personal reason... it has been a full 4 months of joy, fun and enjoyment but there's also hurt, pain and suffering... it was also a very tense period of my life...

it has realli been a time tat everything was not realli going my way but i still hanged on to it.... it has realii been a time tat i felt that the onli feeling i had was hanging on a thread... i dunno why but i still carried on... there was of course nice things that happen lyke we went out and had fun together and things lyke tat...

it was all part of it but the hurt was also there de... i cant deny but it was an equal share of pain and joy.. but it dawned on me recently tat is it becos all along it has been just one-sided??? it was realli a pain to carry on w/o a signal... i have been thru tat so i can tell... now i've learn abt it le... i've realli learn a valuable lesson... it is realli so painful tat it will take a long time to heal but i will not let history repeat itself... becos if i allow tat den i would be dumb... to err is human but to repeat a mistake is stoopid... so i wont allow myself to go back to the same old life...

i'm realli grateful to this person tat had allowed me to take a greater look at this world.... you allowed me to grow up and learn that this world has so many things out there... so i dun have to be stuck there all my life... thanks.... i'm realli gonna start a new league of my life le... i'm no longer gonna bounded by it and i'm no longer getting stuck and i can move on le... this is something tat i have been longing to do... i've always said tat i wanna do but i cant but now... I WILL AND I CAN...

this has been a saying that i always wanna say and now i'm able to establish it in my walk of life... this life has been a roller coaster for me and i think it's time i get down and take control of my life... cos it's time for me to get serious with things... i wanna thank everyone who has been with me thru this "journey" and all those who comforted me even though they dunno anything abt it... thanks guys and gals... this has nv been a stand tat i'm able to make but now i'm realli able to let it all go and just treat it all as an experience learnt...

i've cried over this matter becos it realli matters a lot to me... becos all these months i have put in has realli been a great time that i have known myself... i noe tat it was a very beautiful memory but everything would have to end here... it may have been a one-sided thing these few months but i noe i was realli happi these few months... although there were sad times but i realli feel the joy during this times...

i hope it would not end but i will regret it but it had ended... now i will just move on... although i noe deep down i still love her but i will have to deal with it myself... this has realli been hard for me to take it but i'm strong... i will be able to take it in my stride... all this is a part and parcel of my life... i have realli learn a lot that all these are just an experience that will help me grow and mature up...

lyke a song that has realli tok abt how i feel would be aretha franklin's "think"... becos it says freedom... this is wad i wads hoping and now i'm realli free... another song would be journey's "open arms" becos i'm realli receiving things with an open arms le.... i think this is the first time ever that i'm finally enlightened... lol...

i realli wanna say a big sorry to her becos i noe i have given you a lot of heart-ache and heart-pain too... i also noe that i've hurt you many times and i noe i'm not a good guy... i'm not the one for you ba... i realli hope you will find the perfect guy that you're looking for and no matter who is that... i will give you my blessing... this is the onli thing i can do for you le... i will realli wish you all da best and may you live a life of happiness and i will be happy for you...

_ with regrets and love =aH_kEL=..._


aBt the second thing... it's abt the bad news that i received that i've been trying to cope with this few days... i'm realli very sad and realli disappointed with it and i realli dunno wad went wrong but i'm finally over it... and i'm ready to blog and tok abt it le...

i receieve a news from my friend on sunday night tat i've been eliminated from New Urban Male(NUM)... i noe some of you may think it's something i did wrong that caused this rite.. seriously speaking i didn't do anything wrong... and i nv receive any news from them and i onli knew it thru my friend... haix... i dunno why it will be lyke tat but nvm...

i realli treasured this job a lot as it's my first every retailing job and i realli treasure it alot... i also treasure the pple there lyke of cos eric(my bro), firdaus, franklin, ben, han loong, kevin, augustine, calvin, jia jie, lawrence, derrick, cedric... you guys are realli very nice to me and i realli treasure your friendship... i realli hate to leave but i'm not given a choice to choose.... and to eric... thanks for bringing me in and taking care of me for so long... i'm realli thankful...

when i receive the news i was realli very disappointed... i was thinking thru as in did i do anything wrong to deserve it... and i was thinking tat mebbe it's something i did wrong ba... which i dunno wad it is... mebbe i was suited for this job and i shldn't have intervied for it... i'm realli very sad tat this job would end up that i dunno why i'm no longer being wanted by them... mebbe it;s becos i'm not suited or can fit into this job ba... i actually feel so bitter tat now i dun even dare to go to num becos i'm afraid to face the boss and also i'm afraid of pple asking me why i'm no longer working there... becos i myself dunno why... i feel so upset over this and i feel so useless that why i cant even keep this job... it's a job that i lyke and i cant keep it... wad a failure...

this has realli teached me something.... everything happens for a reason and sometimes it's better tat we dont noe the reason would be better for us... i noe it's not worth feeling so bad and sad over this but i realli loved this job... the pple there are so friendly and willing to teach... i've tried my best to learn fast le... but just tat i'm slow in learning and is that something wrong?? i nv knew tat i would receive a silent retrenchment... i expected it that my time will be up there but i nv knew it would end so fast and also i nv knew it to be a silent one... this sux...

this has realli been a big ordeal that i nv expect it to come one after another... this two matters has caused me to think thru my life... is it something tat's wrong with my character or wad that is realli so wrong that everything arnd me is going wrong and it's always not going my way... i realli think it's something tat's wrong with me... haix... why everything must happen to me at the same time... i'm realli very sad tat all these has happen but i will be strong... i wont be defeated by all these... i will nv be so easily be beaten by all these... i will be strong and i will work hard to change so it would not happen again... all these has happen for a reason... mebbe it's somthing God wans me to learn... i will hope to learn it....

this post has realli been a feeling that wad's going on with me... i noe i've troubled many of you with these 2 problems... i hope i will be a different person from now and wont trouble you all le.. this 2 matters has fully ended and i will just leave them there and i will nv reach back and pick it up... i've learnt tat everything has happen for a reason and i will accept my fate and resign to it... God has blessed me and i noe he will prepare a better one for me...

_with much regret and love =aH_kEL=..._

i have just received a very lousy news... i'm equally sad and stunned at the same time... i actually expected it to happen but not so soon... this feeling suxs and i realli dun wish to let it happen but it happened against my choice... so i gotta accept this fact... haix... when i get over this den i will be blogging about wad happen... i realli dun wish to say abt it but haix... sorri... =)

this few days have realli been a nerve wrecking week... i have realli been trying to figure out a lot of things in my life... i've experienced the hurt tat i shld have experienced b4 and not now... but it all came at once... this few days have been quite monotonous cos i've been just mapling my days away... i realli feel so tired and i dun wanna think anymore... this few days have caused me to realli lose my appetite and also lose all my interest in doing anything... i also dunno why... mebbe it's becos i realise the fact that i'm too sticky and bothering ba... i've bothered and troubled many of the pple arnd me with my own personal problems... i wanna be very frank tat i''m realli imposing on them... it doesn't concern them but i've pulled them into the picture... i feel so tired and frustrated to have to go thru all these.. these few weeks i have been thinking... is my life wad i want it to be or have i lived a life tat hasn't been true to myself... i may be acting very strong and happi but i'm actually not... i may show that i'm alright but i'm NOT!!!! i've been living in misery... i dunno izit becos of that particular reason but i reealli feeel dumb and stoopid... i dunno why i did so many dumb things and i realli blame myself for being an idiot... dage say i am a sha gua... i realli do think so... i dunno why but it's my character to be a sha gua... haix... i noe it wont be good but i still go do it... just purely stoopid and dumb ba... dunno why... my life has been a pure hypnotised life becos i dunno how i lived my life thru these few weeks... i feel lyke my life is being sucked away slowly and i dun even noe wad i'm doing all these weeks... these few weeks have realli been a rough patch that i've been going thru... 'm realli too tired to go thru myself... i noe tat there are many of them who have been with me thru this issue and they've all encouraged me and comforted me but i cant do it alone... i realli cant.... i dunno why i cant do it... i just cant harden my heart to do wad i'm suppose to do... i realli cant figure it out... i dunno why... all of a sudden i just feel so lost in my life with no direction... it's so hard to live a life lyke tat.... i just cant handle all these things coming at the same time... i realli cannot becos i'm not a person who is able to handle so many things at once... i realli dun wann this to happen... i noe it's hard to accept but i have to accept it becos this is wad i need to adapt to... everything has been decided and been a fixed situation.. all i can say is that i gotta accept the fact... realli cant take it but i will do it slowly... no matter wad... i've let out all my pain, hurt and sorrow that these few months i have been feeling last night... i reali cried my heart out and i realli did cry hard... it was realli a hard moment cos a few of them were comforting me... thanks dage, kor, eric and lao po... i realli appreciate all your care for me... i realli hope i will be able to listen to your advices... i hope that i will be able to make the right decision... i realli dun wanna go back to the old me but i realli dun have a choice... haix... i will be strong... i will not shed another tear again for this matter... i will be sure of that... dun worry... okaes... think i will stop here and leave everything here... i will not linger on with tat anymore.. i will let it go fully.... i can do it de.... =) _kelvin_ 8th september 2006 1.15pm

yippie... i finally got a hair-cut that i realli lyked... i just went to have a hair-cut with didi on 5th sept and i also colored my hair... i realli lyke it now... although eric told me say that i look lyke a ah beng... but i still lyke it... haha... think many of you will also say the same thing... hee... but i still lyked it... haha... i dun mind looking lyke a ah beng but as long as i'm not can le... haha... i will try to post how it look on my bloggie... heee... =)

i haven been updating cos i have been realli realli busy... so couldn't blogg... so i try to update on wad happen.. as of tuesday... i have finally cleared one problem outta of my life... i'm realli relaxed tat i've thot it thru and managed to get out of this trance.... haha... i finally am able to release myself from this stressful thingy and be free from it... haha.... onli a few of you would understand... lol... den now i'm actually working at the comex fair 2006... on tuesday... i went for training and den went to expo to help with the set-up.. it was freakin tiring cos it almost tired me till i almost fall dead... den i cut my leg and also bruished my thumb... haix... den on wednesday we also did the set-up and it was quite lame cos we work lyke hell again... i actually cut my hand... freaking stupid la... den the food was not realli tat nice too... but can realli pick la... den on thursday... we started the fair... i didn't injuried myself but had this dumb lady supplier who actually help to chase my customer away.. she's super irritating.... den i realli hate her... den today i injuried my finger.. haix... so unlucky... and yesterday i managed to sell two stakka but none today... so sad... okaes... will stop here.. update another time...