Thursday, November 30, 2006
here i am to update again... because this is the onli thing i can do to help me relax... becos i haven been able to relax and stay cool unless i'm blogging... life has been wierd for mi... cos i have been feeling a bit wierd and also empty... i dunno why but i feel lyke there's something that is lacking from my life and it's making mi feel wierd... i just dunno wad it is and i also dunn wanna noe wad it ise becos i'm afraid i mebbe will regret it.... dunno but things seems to be falling apart from my life... i dunno why but things are lyke slowly ripping off from my life book and it's lyke becoming more and more plain... mebbe becos i'm just a bored guy with nothing and just a stoopid and also dumb idiot... doing many things that pple may not lyke and everything on my own accord... mebbe it's just a one-sided thing from mi ba... just lyke everything i'm doing now... just a one-sided thing in everything i do and always just one party and the another party/parties are either ignoring mi or have fall out with mi... i feel lyke an idiot and a fool... i realli hate myself... i dunno why i'm so dislyked by everyone... haix... mebbe i'm just a stoopid fool ba... who gets on everyone's nerve... mebbe i'm just meant to be someone normal and common to everyone ba... i shldn't be close to anyone or whoever.. i'm causing stress to many many pple... i'm just a sickening person who just bothers and stress other pple up... haix... todae.. i had to go to sch early... didn't have a good night or rest becos of some personal reasons... den went to sch and did proj... den have a bit of fun with kor, darl and esther... haha... den after that in the afternoon... when most of them went for lunch... i had wad i think was a low blood attack cos i suddenly felt so giddy tat i had to lie down and rest for a while... it didn't go away until arnd 5.30/6pm... it was so so painful cos i was also having headache.. den went home and tok to didi a while at the bus-stop... den when at home... at the time i was getting ready to eat, it occurred again... i felt so giddy tat i just stood thr and my dad had to bring mi a chair to sit... think i'm realli very weak... so weak that i'm always unwell and stoopid... dunno why but think i'm realli so weak and useless... haix... my health has been getting worst and worst... dunno why but since that thing happen... i have not been in the best of health but the worst... have been acting a strong front in front of many pple but deep down... i'm weak and soft and not as strong as i look and am... cos i was just acting and not showing the real mi... think it's not good to hide my feelings but in order to allow others to be happi... it's one way that i gotta do and to see pple happi... just seeing pple happi, whether i will be sad or unhappy or unfair wouldn't make a diff becos at least i can see them smile... mebbe they will misunderstand mi but as long as i can see them smile and be happi... i think it's worth it... so many decisions to make.... haix... Is it realli so hard just to please pple?? why everyone just cant accept mi for who i am???think it's time everyone gotta have an end and a start... so think i realli have no chioce... many things i realli dun wish it to be lyke that but i gotta do it or leave it lyke that becos i have no hold over it... so think i realli have to noe how to draw a line ba... gotta go do assignment le... dun think will update soon ba...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
just a few update abt the things happening arnd my life....1.had a new hair-cut2.new color to my hair3.organise a small party for my friend4.been a good dage to my didi5.life is good for mi6.finished my marketing assignment7.had fun with my klass8.lost my keychain dog and recovered it9.love mi phone lyke hell10.almost wanted to donate blood but cant cos i got generic blood disorder... =(11.haven done my maths and DCN assignment... ohmigosh!!!gotta go study for java test le.... wish mi luk tmr... =)
Monday, November 27, 2006
i'm here to blog again... now blogging with a very tired and spaced out mind... becos i'm taking a break from doing my assignment and i'm realli very tired... just say a few things and i gotta go back to doing my assignment that needs to be handed in later... haha...ystd in the morning went with si hui to go buy esther's kittenheels and den met clement and ate at the food court at marina square thr... den i ate curry chicken noodle... den we went to meet esther den we went to walk walk... den arnd 4 we left the place and si hui went to jurong and we went to marina bay instead... we went to meet the rest of our klass pple thr... were so happi that most of them are the pple who agreeed are thr... pple who are thr are esther, clement, samuel, yan qi, michelle, isaac, xun hang, yi ming, ryan, jian da, yi xian and mi... hee... it's was so fun cos we were celebrating esther's bdae... haha... den we ate and ate until we're so full... we ate from abt 5pm till abt 8.30... haha.... mebbe old liao... cannot eat more or longer le... haha... den after tat we went to the super funworld thr to play pool on the second floor... it was okaes la... not realli fun for mi cos i was a bit too full.. haha... den we all took the bus and den took mrt... den at dhoby ghaut we saw eric thr and den we went home... i stopped at serangoon with clement and isaac... haha... i found my own "band" it's called G-6... which is also Gay-6... lol... it's just for fun one... not tat we're realli gay but just say for fun de... wahaha.... it includes mi, brandon, isaac, eric, raymond and xun hang... haha.... so funny sia... lol... den everyone went home and was very stress online becos today have to hand in the assignment and many of us are very far away from done... haha... so everyone was quickly online to do our work.... i actually did my own assignment till abt 2am... so tired sia... so so tired and shag now... was feeling a bit of low and down when i went to slp... cos of some personal things i haven been feeling well and have been very confuse abt it... dunno whether am i alone to face this or we're together facing all the probs... haix... things realli have gotten worst... mebbe i'm a jynx ba... mebbe it's destined that i'm not going to have that things in my way for my whole lifetime ba... haix.... now online to continue my assignment... gotta go soon.... lastly, a part of a song to say a bit abt mi feelings ba.... Do you ever get lonely, baby Dont you ever get tired of living that way Dont you ever wonder whether there a better life out there you ever think about what we had And how you'd give anything to get it back Do you ever think you'll never love that way again Wondering if only Do you ever get lonely .......
Saturday, November 25, 2006
arghhhhh... i'm so so tired and so so lethargic.... it's so so stoopid... i'm so dumb tired la... now to think of wad i've been doing was realli so so stoopid of mi... i realli regretting doing so much for you... i cared for you and helped you along and did as much as i can... you just sit thr and take things for granted... wad do you think i am... your maid or wad??? i dun owe you anything okaes.... bloody fool.... after all i've helped you, you dun learn yr lesson... still trying to throw everything to mi to do... you think wad... i'm onli a member... dun treat mi lyke your personal assistant cos i'm not and i will never be yours... you fking idiot....
i have been so so so tired... i dunno why... it could be becos of my personal issues but i think that does not sum it all up... it's actually part of it onli... seriously saying i think it's all the dumb stoopid and lame projects and works tat i realli cannot take it anymore... i'm realli burdened with all these projs and also assignments that i cant breathe... i need a breather... i got so many projs that it's getting out of hand... everything needs progress but i dun think there's any now.... it's realli frustrating... wad's worst is i have to be my own leader in my proj and i gotta help some pple to lead their projs and help them to coordinate... wad am i?? a substitution tat you wanna use den you find mi izit... pls... i'm just trying to help... not gonna do everything for you... so take control of your own things... stop pushing it to mi....
i'm so frustrated and angry with everything and also so freaking disappointed in myself that i may have judge a person wrongly... i shldn't have helped him so much and wasted my efforts... i'm such a stoopid stoopid fool to be the good person to help that someone that is not repentant... i shldn't have done so... shld have leave him in a lurch... culd be a better solution and wont end up lyke tat... cant blame anyone but myself for being too busybody and also too ambitious to wanna help someone who wont change himself... i'm such a bloody fool... haix... fking angry and tired of all these nonsense... dunno why i must bear with it while i got other problems and things to be thinking or worrying abt... haix... so sucky and i feel lyke i'm cheated.... shldn't have been the good guy... good guys are always taken advantage of and always gonna be bullied... i just feel tat i'm not justified for my actions and always not given credit... dunno why pple can just ignore things and can say we'll do wadeva is needed to hand in on the day when we're gonna hand in.... so irresponsible and outright shameful... dunno why pple can be lyke tat... i just feel so so fk up with these type of pple... so so so fking angry with that person... i hope he will be able to change cos i will start to let go and stop being yr crutch... you gotta learn how to walk by yourself.....
life has been bad for mi... one of my persisting prob is still not solved and also my current studies are a little jialat becos i'm weak in my studies and many many things i'm very blur and still cannot catch up... hope everything will go well and i will be able to catch up and also do well... haix... said enuff le... hope my marketing assignment can be handed in on monday... pray for mi kaes.....=)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
okaes... i'm back to update again... this time i update wil a heavy heart... cos got so many things happening... i feel so tired and lethargic every day when i wake up to go school... i realli dunno why but i feel so tired... mebbe becos not onli abt school stuffs ba but also abt my relationship with everyone i noe... it's kinda tiring me out and realli giving me probs....next thing i wanna say is that dun ever be the good guy.... it's nv good being the good guy.... everyone will misunderstand your motive and give you attitude... i dunno why everytime i do something intending it to be good... pple will not take it as good and show me attitude... i dunno why they are so stoopid.... i dunno why i dunno why i'm so stoopid to go and plan all these just for wad?? for a dumb stoopid attitude face to show mi tat you're unhappy.... if you're so unhappy rite... i'l stop planning le... you asked mi to plan and when i do so... you're not happi... wad if you are the star... does it mean that you can show your displease as and when you lyke... pls... i'm doing you a favor okaes... if i'm not i wont even wanna care abt this thingy la... if i knew it would end up lyke that... i wont wanna plan this le... plan it with so much effort but you can bear to blame me and show mi your dumb attitude... i realli got nothing to say le... YOU WIN!!!!!just dunno why everytime i gotta go thru all these... dunno why my intentions are always misunderstood and also taken as evil intentions... i nv wanted to cause all these things... i do everything becos i realli wanna do it with my heart but you all doubt my sincerity and even ignore and show mi attitude... i realli got nothing to say le... i've done my part as a friend but you dun feel it... den so be it... i will just do my part and i will not forget this lesson learnt..... to that special person.... sorry for everything i'm doing now... i gtg do it so as to allow something to happen between us... i realli had no choice to do it against my will.... hope one day you will understand my meaning....
Sunday, November 19, 2006
this few days have been realli sucky and hard to bear and go thru... i realli dunno why but i realli feel so so tired and upset by many things... i have realli been very easy-go-lucky until nowadays when somethings started to go haywire... my life has been good until these 2 weeks... i dunno why... i dunno wad went wrong... mebbe it could be my fault ba... i have been too much and too kaypoh and too demanding... mebbe i have made a wrong move and been too fast-paced and also too eager... haix...
i have been thinking a lot... i have been having sleepless nights... becos i have too many things in my mind... i also dunno why... cos i'm too free ba... nothing to do den go think of all the stoopid things... i realli think that i'm realli very fan and irritating... i realli think mebbe i'm a bad person... pple shld not be close to mi at all... i'm always bugging pple and also troubling pple ba... and also giving pple lots of stress.... think it's all my fault and i deserve all these for wad's happening now... i dunno wad will end out of that thing but if it ends out negatively... i think i can onli blame myself for being a LOSER and also a FAILURE ba... i'm just a L & F ba.... haix... dunno why but think i'm such a useless person... in everything i do i always dun get to do it my way but everytime i will cause it to go the other way... mebbe it's my fate that in terms of this matter... i will never ever get wad i wan ba... haix... i realli think tat i'm fated to never ever gonna succed... not tat i'm pessimistic but haix... dunno how to say... think i stop spoiling everyone's mood le ba...
todae... i actually went out in the morning to play basketball with clement and went for breakfast with him also... den went home to bath den actually went to bishan with him and esther... den we went shopping thr... i actually got a notebook for writing some notes from there... den actually wanna shop for clothes den in the end nv go... den actually we went for lunch and i had duck rice and den went to arcarde to play for a while... den we went back to the library den chop one cubicle at one corner... den we had our proj meeting over thr... i was realli very lost todae but had to act a bit... cos i dunn wanna spoil their mood.. sorry guys... den after meeting actually wanna go plaza singapura but in the end went to the marina and suntec... saw a very nice sweater but no money to buy... haix... realli lyke that... and i actually wanna more things but got no money... sad case ba... den actually had fish and co for dinner... i always never go against my stomach... dunno why... always spend money on food but i haven pampered myself for very long le... below are some pics... think tat's all for update... becos i am realli realli not in the mood to tok abt anything le... realli realli in the lowest morale.... sorry everyone....
This is a pic of me eating the teeth sweet in the library...
picture of my finished seafood platter for one... hee...
Friday, November 17, 2006
this is just an update abt wad has happen since the last update ba... these few days have been tiring and very emotional... things haven been realli moving smoothly and everything is still very blurry and uncertain... things have realli been very sucky and also stoopid.... these few days have been just tired tired and more tired becos of all my proj tat are piling up and also assignments tat is due very very soon... many things have happened and i have been trying to figure things out and decide whether wad i shld do and also whether it is my fault... i realise that many many things have happen and i realise that many pple are getting involve themselves with no one pulling them in... they are throwing themselves into this mess... it was actually very simple but i dunno why they made it so complicated??? they are all so so bothersome and also too busybody... i dunno why pple are so kaypoh tat they wanna poke their nose into matters that does not concern them?? why shld they be so kaypoh and also so busybody to go and take other pple's matters into their hand?? i just dun understand... i realise that i shld be more wary of the pple around mi... there are a few pple arnd me who are actually more of a hinder den a help and it has realli worsened the situation... things have actually been well till ystd... it was a little too over ystd but everything is fine now... but i will not let things get in my way... i'm so shocked to see that pple arnd mi are actually trying to ruin things that is going good for mi... i dunno why... i dun think it's anything else but just that they are jealous... i dunno wad's wrong with their dumb mind that they are trying to ruin my happiness but poking their dumb ass into my matters... *just a note to them.. Dun let mi noe wad you're trying to do or i will not let you off so easily.... i noe that i seem very affected and very agitated... and yes... i am... but i will not let these things get in my path... i noe i'm harsh but i hope you noe who you are and stop doing those stoopid stuffs that are causing pain to others... pls get out and stop torturing others and make yourself happi... just stop all these nonsense and dun make us hate you guys... i realli dun wish it will go to such a stage.....*thanks kor, brother and a few of you who actually conforted mi when i was down and upset... i realli appreciate it... thanks.... =)
Sunday, November 12, 2006
this is a post for wad happened todae... todae i woke up at arnd 10am... was feeling still tired and very lethargic... den i realise my phone got prob... sian...den i tried calling sony ericsson and also their service center but both the hotline are close for the day... sian... den i was so so du lan tat i called singtel but they told me they could not do anything and ask mi go to sony ericsson's service centre... so i had to trouble clement to go with me... thanks clement....
den i actually meet up with clement at 1 plus with my bro and den we reach the service centre arnd 2 plus ba... den i took a number... the number was 101 but the number that they were serving was onli 53... so sian... den went to walk walk and when i came back... it was 72 i think... omg... so so slow... den when it was my turn, it was alr 4pm... so so sian... den after that gotta wait for 3 and 1/2 hour b4 i can get back my phone... den i went to eat at yoshinoya with clement and my bro and den we went topman and walk walk... den clement went home cos he was not well den me and my bro went to the library.... we sat thr until abt 6.50 den we went to taka and walk walk and finally it was 7.30... i went and get my phone back... the feeling is super good... den we went to bishan and den went home... den i played audition with clement, yi ming, xun hang, samantha, xin xian and samuel... haha... it was quite fun... den now think gonna slp soon... tmr still gotta wake up early for proj... will update more i hope.... hee... =)
*miSsiNg yOu* =)
Friday, November 10, 2006
okaes... i'm gonna update of somethings that happen to me these few days... just wanna do a short update ba.... abt these 2 days ba... hee..yesterday went to school early in the morning... so bored sia... went at 10 but didn't do proj... cos of several reasons... den we toked all the way until maths lec... some went and some didn't... i didn't... den went for lunch at 1pm... den we all ate and den went back to do proj... something happened and i was very down and upset... but we still did the proj... den after that got the proj tut... so lame and boring... i wanted to fall asleep... mebbe becos of yati's coffee... haha... den after tat we went home... den iate and played com and den my grp members all conferenced at 9.30 exp yati who forgot the time and we decided the topic for comm skills le.... haha... den i went to slp arnd 12 cos i was damn damn tired... den today in the morning i woke up... my throat hurts and i was feeling a bit feverish... den my chest was a little pain and very uncomfortable.... den i told my dad i was sick and cant go sch... so after tat i went back to slp... den i woke up arnd 11 plus and went to bath but the clinic was closed for lunch break.. so i went to buy food and den ate while playing com and watching tape... den i went to the clinic at 2 and saw the doc... at that point den i know tat i had upper respiratory infection... sian sia... dunno wad is that but my chest feels uncomfortable somehow... den i msg my boss tell her say i cant work... den i went to slp and woke up arnd 6 plus... den i went online and tried to make my dota thingy.... finally tonight it can work... all thanks to clement and kor... tat's all abt today...i wanna add a few things.... something very miraculous has happen todae.... this things has cause my life to be changed and also made my day a very enjoyable and happi one... it's something that i didn't expect and it was so heart-warming to learn of it... it's actually something that i have experienced since a long long time ago.. i have been waiting for this answer since many days ago... and it came today... even though it's not going to occur now... but it will soon.. i hope... i noe that it's not a decision that is easy to make but i'm realli thankful to "you" cos you realli lifted my spirit with the ans... i noe it will be hard for you but dun worry... i will always be thr for you... believe in us kaes... anything i will be thr to ward it off for you... i hope that tat thing will be able to be settled soon so we can both get on and move on... =hope we will be able to do it soon...= * i noe we can do it..... =)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
haha... i'm back to update on my blog again... i haven been updating cos i was busy busy and more busy... haha... i will start everything from sunday la.... haha...
sunday was a day that i had anticipated for such a long long long time... on sunday... i went to tampiness mall with my parents and my brother... we actually met my aunt for lunch also which was a filling one... den after tat we went to walk walk a while and my aunt had to go... so after tat we took a train down to city hall as the hello shop at tampiness was lyke so conjested and got so many pple... den we went to the one at city link... den we took a number and den it flashed on the screen le... so change my phone to Sony Ericsson K800i... woohoo... my first ever Sony Ericsson phone... and it's paid by myself by saving up the money from my part-time jobs... so happi sia... i'm realli proud of myself... den the lady was very nice... so polite also.. haha... den we went to marina and walk walk den finally went to suntec... got my topshop wallet from thr... hehe... den my sis and another person came... i dun wanna elaborate more.. den ate at the food court... den went home....
monday was quite boring as i had to go to school early in the morning for proj work... sian sia... den my whole grp was present and some did the proposal and also me and esther did the ppt... esther did a great job in the background thingy... den we went for the lectures and tutorials and also the lab lesson... den a few of us pon the night lecture as it was quite boring... so i also nv go.. den came home play com and did my assignment... haha... life was bored...
todae... went to school for lesson at 10... sian... super early... den i pon lesson till 1 cos gotta do the ppt for presentation.. stayed in the room with esther and samuel... den we went for lunch and den for lesson... was feeling a little bit down but becos of someone special... i opened up and felt a lot better... thanks to that person...
den went for lab and presented and the teacher just say it's creative and good... no more comments... sian sia... den went for dinner with clement, isaac, samuel, esther, yan qi and me.... we ate KFC's family feast... den after clement, samuel, esther and me met yati and we did a bit of proj... den go walk the pasar malam... haha... so fun... think update till here will be enuff...
here are some pics taken in my new phone....
a picture taken of myself in the discussion rm
this is a pic of me and my brother(eric)...
This is a pic of me and my classmate(yati)...
this is a pic of me and the 4 gers... a among the thorns or a thorn among the roses... you decide yourself... wahaha...
a tigger that i bought for myself.. it's a speaker tigger... hehe...
Saturday, November 04, 2006
hehe... i'm back... it has been some time since i last posted my entry... these few days have been very busy... this week has been busy with proj and lessons and thins lyke tat... so to start with... it is wednesday... it was quite bored cos i went for the lesson and it was so bored so i went for breakfast... den went for comm skills lesson... my teacher was so nice tat she baked muffins for us to eat... thank you mrs priscilla... den after tat i came home and slept and play com for the whole day....
thursday i woke up early to go to esther's place to get the admin card from her cos she was sick... i was quite tired also den rushed to school with didi.. den i did proj with kor, xin xian and samuel... den we went for maths and den we went for break... we ate pizza and den went to arcade to play... i played 2 rounds of DDR and i was lyke dying le.. wahaha... den we went back for proj class den i went beach road with didi to buy sch... and got the shoe he wore todae.... hehe... hope no one see this... den went home and played games...
friday was boring as the first class was lame... den we went for breakfast and stoopid mr edwin dun give us attandance... lamer sia... nvm... den we went for maths and i was surprised that i could do the question myself w/o asking... hehe... think i have hidden potential... opps... cannot be proud... den i went home but i fell sick and so nv go to work in the end... den slept for the whole day and rest at home...
todae... went to work early in the morning... so boring.... den today got somethings happen at work... uncle francis caused trouble again... sian... this time he offended nora and siti... he is so unlucky... den time passed so so slowly... but i made a new frend who is hafiz....he accompanied me to tok for the whole day until he went home at 6... den i went for break at 5 and ate terriyaki chicken set for dinner.... den went to get a handphone pouch for my new phone... cos i'm gonna get it tmr... woohoo... super happi... den went back to work... told miss chang i had headache and need to leave at 8 becos i realli did... after i squat down and when i stand... i can feel my head hurting... dunno why... den today i also did something that i'm impressed by myself... i managed to do something that i didn't hesitate becos i was scared of regretting... and i dun wanna tell it out becos i wanna keep it a secret... den when i was on my way home... my mum told me that my piano has arrived... i'm so happi.... finally it reached... someone gave it to me and it's not bad.... wahaha... thank God for all these... i'm so glad and happi now.... tmr meeting my small aunt and i realli love her a lot becos she is why i'm realli here now becos she guided me a lot... thanks soi yee.... okaes... i'll stop here... i'll update more tmr abt my phone... hehe...
this is wad is left of mrs priscilla's muffins!!!!
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